Today I had my annual visit with my OB/GYN. I understand how odd of an opening line that is for a blog post titled “The Best Day of My Life”, but it’s very relevant. She started by asking me how married life was. To which I responded by informing her that I was no longer married, which opened up a slew of other questions pertaining to my lady bits.
Once that was all sorted out, she asked me how my stress levels were. I told her I couldn’t really remember the last time I felt an inordinate amount of stress. She then asked me how my job was going…
“Actually, yesterday morning I “mutually separated” from my employer.”
She was very shocked and surprised by the juxtaposition of the fact that I could sit there and tell her that I have recently gone through a divorce and experienced the ending of employment, and the fact that I can’t remember the last time I experienced a high level of stress. I was a little surprised myself.
See, although it was a mutual separation, it didn’t happen the way I planned it. Of course in my mind, the right circumstances would have taken a bit longer to align, I would have given plenty of notice, and would have celebrated with the awesome co-workers I was leaving behind for my new journey. Yesterday morning, as I was getting ready for work with an 8:30am meeting on the calendar with my boss, I had a feeling that the time had come. I told myself “Whatever happens, IT WILL BE FINE.”
30 minutes later, I was walking home, free as a bird on the wind. I wasn’t surprised. I wasn’t sad. I was a little scared, and REALLY FUCKING EXCITED for the future. In fact, last night I walked down to the bluffs and watched the sun set on my old life, and then had a drink to celebrate.
As someone who has worked almost every day, sometimes multiple jobs at a time, for the last 19 years, I have never left a job without another in the pipeline. And if you look at all of my passion projects and side jobs, I guess that’s true now as well. But it’s different. Now I can structure my day as I please. I’m not stuck in the confines of an office building from the hours of 8am to 5pm. And most importantly, I am doing the things I WANT to do, instead of the things I feel I HAVE to do.
If something like this would have happened to me a few years ago, I don’t know that I would have responded the same way.
Okay, that’s a lie. I definitely would have freaked the fuck out.
But, the last two to three years have been spent working on shifting my mindset, growing, and learning so much about myself. I’ve figured out that life can be whatever I want it to be as long as I stop making excuses for why it can’t. Because no matter what happens IT WILL BE FINE.
As my doctor was finishing up the exam, she told me how awesome it was that I was doing the things I was doing.
“You know, most women in their mid-30s are staying in jobs they hate and relationships they are unhappy with because they feel like that’s just what they are supposed to do. Because that’s what’s expected of them. You are really taking control of your life and you seem really happy.”
She started to walk out of the room and turned to me and said, “You should really start a blog.” To which I laughed and replied, “I have one, it’s called ‘Life On Purpose’.” She flashed a huge grin, gave me a big hug, “Im SO proud of you.”
Me too, girl. Me.Too.